Our Boomer Parents Are Not Our Grandparents...

I grew up in the 1980's and 1990's. As a child, I basically lived at my grandparents' house. My sister and I couldn't wait until we saw their station wagon pull up into the driveway. We knew it was going to be a weekend full of candy, movies, fun and loving hugs. We could get away with murder with our grandparents.

However, my children don't have the same relationship with my parents. In fact, they don't have any relationship with them at all really. My mother is always too busy "living her best life." I really believe she hasn't caught on that the Boomers are older now. My mother is actually a lot older than my grandparents were when I was growing up since I had my children nearly a decade older than she was when she had me.

For many years, I just accepted it. "Ok, you can't watch my kids [again]. Yes, you're busy traveling in Napa and doing group painting. Got it." But after years of dealing with this, I started to question it. Why are Boomer parents so selfish?

I have a few theories about this. First, their parents (our grandparents) grew up during the Great Depression and World War II. They know what it means to struggle and sacrifice. They also have a stronger understanding of community. My grandparents told me how they had to come together as a community and help each other survive the Great Depression. During World War II, they banded together as a nation to fight the Axis Powers. While the men went off to war, the women stayed and picked up the slack at home, working in factories and offices while still raising the children. This created a sense of spirit, hard work, community, struggle and determination.

Our parents were born and raised in a time of great prosperity. After World War II, the United States became an economic superpower. Our parents slid into a time of innovation, culture, and money built by their parents. Our parents really didn't know the difference. They did not have to struggle like their parents did. They did not have that true grit that our grandparents had.

Because life was easy for them, they became accustomed to it. Our parents went to college in the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's for basically free. A man could get a job and easily support a wife and children and a mortgage on his salary alone. They went from the 1960's hippie culture to the 1970's freewheeling culture to the 1980's yuppy culture. They grew up in an ever-flowing cascade of easiness. They rode off the backs of the progress our grandparents built.

In the 1980's, we weren't even allowed to come into the house until the streetlights were on. We drank out of the hose if we were thirsty. There was nothing like that hot metal taste in the summer. We had to fend for ourselves, and we became accustomed to it. Our Boomer parents made us responsible for ourselves at a very young age. Now a days, if someone leaves their child outside without a parent, usually a neighbor will call Child Protective Services (CPS). It's a totally different world. As one meme has said, we were 30 when we were 10 and at 50, we're still 30. Sounds about right. We are more like our grandparents than our parents. In my opinion, it's much harder to be a parent today than it was in the 1980's and 1990's.

My second theory in regard to Boomer behavior piggy backs off the first-our Boomer parents were spoiled and entitled. Because our grandparents had to go without during the Great Depression and the War, they didn't want their children to go through the same hardships. It's admirable really. When their children needed help, they helped them. Both of my parents were given cars by their parents, a down payment on their first home, college help, and of course, built in babysitters. Boomers are used to getting help but not giving it. Therefore, it's not in their sphere of reference to sacrifice for someone besides themselves.

So, what's the solution to this problem? Many people have said, "Just talk to them." I don't know what your experience is, but we're often brushed off by our parents (like we were when we were kids). Hopefully one day they may come into reality, understanding that they're in their 60's, and give up their hippie and yuppy ways. Maybe they'll realize that connection with their grandchildren is much more valuable than "FOMO." I do however really feel that when the Boomers continue to age, they will start to realize what they did, when no one comes to visit them in their old folks' home.

It's hard out there in those streets. I give you all my compassion and sympathy for raising children in today's world. If you have any thoughts on this topic, please comment below. My goal is to create a community to support each other.